summer summer summer

Summer is here and I should feel alive and well ...... its up and down lately
we are going camping this weekend .... hope to chillax and connect to nature again
I can't write anymore now...... have lost all my words of late......
no poems.....no lyrics......not much of anything .......
even the sunshine is not helping
blah blah blah
Never mind .... summer will be good .... I'll do my best to do the best I can Uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh

a few synchronicities

I follow synchronicity when I see it even though there may not be what seems to be a major message behind it.
The other day one of my facebook friends had a status line mentioning "Laughing Cow" cheese, the next day we were in line at the grocery store and someone had left a package of same said cheese on the magazine rack ,then last night we went to my parents for a supper. There on the table was three packages of .... you guess it "Laughing Cow". I never knew mom to buy that brand in the past ...certainly not while I was at home.
Any way synchronicity shows up all the time and the message I take from it is usually just that life is playing fun games with us if we want to pay closer attention.
Here are another few from  recent days........... I just bought two new books at chapters the other day and both books mention Baruch Spinoza neither of these books are about philosophy.
I always feel fascinated when the smallest of synchronicity happens ..... they amuse me and at times frustrate me also as I want to find deeper meaning in them.
Perhaps deep down I want to think I am getting "secret" information from the universe or the source etc.
Or just maybe its like a great big game or puzzle to figure out or a hidden story to follow,
There are times when I have an intuitive knowlage of a situation that feels similar to the synchronicity. I will feel somehow that something will arise or happen or at times get answers to something without having to do the "work" so to speak.
I also have a very strong sensititivity to my own and others emotions both locally and at a distance.... but that is another blog
maybe for now I am supposed to relax and enjoy the simple things in life like cheese....laughing and uh cows?

must blog

needed to put something up ....

are you in there

well Its hard to blog off my phone so I will finish the rest at home.....it was going to be long and profound though

two new books I bought today

So I just bought these two books today so I can't tell you too much yet....
The first one "The Principles of Uncertainty" is very interesting to me because its so much like the journals that I write.
The second one "Embrace the Wide Sky" is written by an author who has Asperger's syndrome and Savant Syndrome. Daniel Tammet was the subject of a BBC documentary called "The Boy with the Incredible Brain"
Both these books make me feel a bit out of place when I look at them.....
but also I identify with them very much too!
I want to have a book published also.....
On another note ..... I encounter allot of synchronicity ..... I used to want to discover the meaning of such events (well still do I suppose)  but I also have come to feel that it means I am where I am and things are as there are (should be)
I have not been very inspired these past few days
Its a lovely evening ......
I want to paint..... no I want to play my guitar....no I want to write some poems .... no   dammit I am stuck again.
Oh hey what about reading those new books ...... Good Idea!

when will it all converge?

I want to be able to log in to one site and access all my accounts ... facebook... Windows live...google....blogger...youtube... twitter...and others one login to rule them all . I want this seamless flow of my digital info to be easy and fast and I want the interface to be spherical with the core of the sphere as the login point and I want all Internet information exchange to be instantaneous using quantum superposition technology. And I want it now!!!!!
(just kidding I can wait awhile)

The need to know

(It seems I have a thing about eyes)
Its a beautiful day today and I feel off.... uneasy ... and I don't know why?
Can't seem to write today !
I used to think that I liked mystery..... but I don't like mystery I like answers in fact
We think if we know we will not fear
Fear itself comes from the need to know.
no one likes a know-it-all

kissing in the riot

The moment unexpected but one that has caught th attention of millions around the world, this is my simple sketch of the now famous photo.
Some thought the photo was staged ? even if it had been its still a fantasic image. It was not staged. the young girl had been hurt when knocked over by a riot police shield and her boy friend was comforting her.
The couple is scott jones and alexandra thomas , the riot police man in front ??? I think this photo will be around for a long time long after the riots are a distant memory.
Its interesting what can come out of life. Its also interesting the ability for what is most certainly instant fame.

VWb's are magic

I miss owning a volkswagen

mind you I had a super beetle

but I love the gypsy feeling of VWb's

The only car I ever did my own mechanical work on too

what do I want to grow when I be up

all these blurry images brought to you by my old phone.
I love to take pics of everything and anything..... and don't care to try to get a perfect shot

I think I used this one already ..... oh well
I feel incredibly isolated in a world that is supposed to be all connected

I wonder what happened to me?
If you say "grow up" people will take that as an insult !
When I be down I want to get up and when I be up I want to grow wings

The poems are hiding

If I look for them they can't be found
I get frustrated and feel anxious
then I can't write at all
Le Monde
add some french .... nothing happens
try the norse gods .....
aisle 13 at Ikea
nope!!!!
Its grey again and that may have something to do with it.
this morning I heard "when you wish upon a star" driving to starbucks in my car (its true)
cliff edwards 1934 recording by disney of course.
stop trying to hit me and hit me.......
can't with all the inward turning
Staighten up your act man ..... you have at least one follower now and there may be demands ..... one never knows?
ooops
going back to looking for words..... the poems sometimes come fully assembled.... but mostly they are like swedish furniture.

I rock

I rock !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

burn it in plastic

Burn it in plastic baby, get down and smash it ,maybe,break out the walls ready to fall, for
anything
   anything
      anything
Struggle and fight with the words, step out at night with girls going to make our own world, for
anything
   anything
      anything
You got to make hay while it shines, then you just leave it behind , for
anything
   anything
      anything

sniff sniff

This morning at tea (coffee time previously called) I was crying and no one saw... not even my wife.
This little fellow was out at the dog run
I felt for a moment deeply connected to my childhood this morning, not from this teddy bear though.
This is just a random item left behind.
I had that feeling once.... thought I was being left behind.
I remember looking down from the roof of the Royal Alexandra hospital through a chain link fence
Now had this been a rubber frog with both arms cut off well .......

some filler

Its thursday and a lovely sunny nice mild day of about 20 deg c
There have been no good poems this week
I don't miss coffee yet
I was going to write a bunch about what I feel.... nah!
I miss walking in the trees near rivers.. I miss the feeling of nature and the quiet
I don't want my days to just be "some filler" to replace really living
God I want to cry right now
God damn the movies and tv for showing some life non exsistant !!!!
Everything I have looked at is a dream ..........somewhere underneath it all there is real.
I have heard of E E Cummings but don't know a thing about him
Google time (some filler)

colours ...me song one of em

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rainy and random

Its rainy today........here are some random pics............I have taken and collected thousands of digital images....I love images of all sorts.

I am 48 yrs old
I sometimes feel it
I want new friends

I wish I could get paid for the colour of my eyes

I practice zen buddhism ........very poorly

Its tuesday

Hi everybody (he says looking at the 0 followers) Its tuesday and you know what that means !
To the kids they think it means every tuesday we go to "cheap" movie night. Cheap movie night is not all that cheap when its said and done. I just thought ... who says I've been feeling myself these days , people say I have not been feeling myself lately.
One never knows..... my daughter zoey often says "HAPPY TUESDAY"  I don't know where that started?
So happy tuesday

A bit mixed up like colours

Feeling a bit blue but I'm too yellow to face it and of course that leaves me green with envy lol. bad puns.
I am a bit mixed up and jostled right now, even sad you may say.Discouraged and down etc etc, there are times when I feel I live in a bubble not able to connect with the greater world around me. I read allot about inner life and spiritual things I am tired of chasing and searching and I feel quite lost right now.
I have also been reading allot about energy medicine and Qigong , the Tao Te Ching and Buddhist writings by Thick Nhat Hahn.
I forgot my vitamin D today
I feel like tears are so close to the surface always
I don't want to dream anymore
I am so sick of how this world is
I can seem to give in and let it all go
I feel ripped off
I have felt angry for what seems like my whole life
I feel like the rest of you small , unworthy,impostor,loser,old,washed up
I am tired of the media's portrayal of everything
I could not write any poems today
I feel like my heart wants to run away from my mind
I so sad and tired of feeling less than
I have nothing to complain about
my life is good
I have the most loving and wonderful wife in the world
I didn't know I could feel more in love
love hurts
I get depressed when its overcast and  rainy
today its overcast and rainy
when the sun comes out I will feel fine again
I don't want to be judged by anyone
I judge everyone
I am all mixed up like colours

The trouble with creativity

Sometimes its like an internal explotion and I want to let it out only its too great and too much and then it goes away for awhile and then I have run on sentences and feel to rushed and then and then and then......I had an ECG done yesterday..........seems she said to look ok............but she's no doctor she also said.

I have yet to learn the value of non-action  but I'm doing lots of practice.

phone blog sard

doing a blog from your phone is slow and takes patience,I am in the process of developing some

I used to blog

Well well well so I used to blog and it seems I may again or thats what this seems to be..... there is allot of digital remnant of me out there in small bytes here and there. I have come to a place where I want to blog again for awhile who knows for how long. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO WRITE NICE ..... some think capitals means yelling and if you think that well  your quite wrong LOL I use the lol I have been taken by its mystical power to absolve you .... lol is the new high priest of feeling good about saying bad things. I have a dirth of poems and today I was rapping in my car on the way to chinook center and it made me dizzy and so I had to pull over (true story) anyway the rap was really good and so poetic and forceful and it caused me to have an anxiety attack or so I told my self. You can know that the above image has everything to do with the driving problems of the world today......I'm sayin that don't expect me to be insane or sane I don't want to be labeled cause they stick