A random page from my journals

So...... I write allot .... in journals.... with a fountain pen.
I write every day if I can.... some days it flows like water and some days its like a rusty pump jack and it takes everything just to get a few drops out.
I write my own brand of strange poems and thoughts... or maybe just what I observe.
I write what I hope will one day be songs for I am also a musician.
I have around 50 journals upstairs on the shelf..... I am going to grab one at random and type out the page.
Let's see what comes up...... flipping  to a random page also.....

"There are other prisons though, thousands of them ,in the way we believe what society,the world,others say about us.We will go to the ends of the earth and ourselves to avoid disapproval. I myself have become so afraid of embarrassment that my my life has become so small, so compact,hiding when ever I can to avoid detection.This is classic impostor syndrome.My god we have all become experts at fragmentation,the ability to let you see just what we want ,a sliver of false self even.So much has come to depend on it,and then we come to our expectations. I have a definite list of unwritten expectations and when another does not meet them I feel anger and judgement..... back to things as they are....... people wear really pointy shoes these days,is it trying to get their point across? or a subconscious way of  saying don't you get me! Who knows!
(in the margin) Once again I am certain clothes are our biggest visual grace.

Well that's how I wrote it some time in 2009